Happiness happens in the present. Why genuine connection is more than just networking
A scene at a tea plantation in northern Thailand and what the World Happiness Report has to say about it.
Two weeks ago, I was sitting on a tea plantation near Chiang Rai. Vast green landscapes, mountains in the distance, birdsong, warm sunshine. One of those moments when you don’t want to add a single word. I looked around and saw almost nothing but cell phone screens. A small scene that so matter-of-factly reveals a paradox of our time.
Almost every other guest on the terrace – in pairs, in groups of three or four – was looking at their phone. Not briefly, but genuinely absorbed. One table caught my eye: two people simply gazing at the landscape. A conversation here and there. Then silence again. Drinking tea. That particular way of looking into the distance.
The scene stayed with me – long after the holiday ended. Perhaps because it reveals one of our era's paradoxes so quietly and without drama: we have never been more connected. And we have never found it easier, precisely for that reason, not to actually be here.
Being connected and being present – these are not the same thing
The World Happiness Report, published each year around March 20th, has confirmed one of the most consistent findings in happiness research for years: relationships, social closeness and genuine connection are among the most important sources of life satisfaction. Not income, not status, not efficiency.
What interests me most about this year's edition is its more nuanced view of social media. Usage itself is not the deciding factor – it's how we engage with it. Active exchange, learning and creative participation can create real connection. Passive scrolling, on the other hand, tends to correlate with lower wellbeing. And the sense of belonging in real life has a far stronger effect on our happiness than the simple question of whether we spend less time online.
Social media is therefore neither good nor bad – it's a both/and. It can connect, inspire and comfort. And at the same time it can pull us away from precisely those moments that would actually nourish us.
What happiness has to do with mindfulness
In my work with leaders, I encounter this paradox regularly – just wearing a different face. People who are very good at staying reachable, quick to respond and well-informed. And who simultaneously carry a quiet sense of never quite arriving. In a conversation. In the moment. With themselves.
Mindfulness – and this is not an esoteric statement, but a well-evidenced one – is precisely the capacity that makes the difference here. Not the ability to put the phone down. But the ability to notice, at all, when you actually want to be present. And then make a conscious choice.
The moment on the tea plantation wasn't a moment of great insight for me. More like a small reminder: happiness is often not where we look for it. It's already waiting – in the landscape, in the silence, in a conversation that doesn't need to lead anywhere.
And yes – I'm aware of the irony of writing about this on social media. That's part of it too.
When did you last let a moment simply be – without capturing it or sending it on?
FAQ
What does the World Happiness Report say about social media and happiness? The report distinguishes between active and passive use: people who use social media for exchange, learning or creative engagement tend to experience more positive effects. Passive scrolling, on the other hand, is associated with lower wellbeing. More significant than screen time is the sense of genuine belonging in real life.
Can presence be trained in everyday life? Yes, and this is one of the core aspects of mindfulness training. The goal is not to put the phone away forever, but to make more conscious choices about when and how we are online. Small everyday practices – consciously arriving before a conversation, brief pauses without stimulation – can significantly strengthen the capacity for awareness.
What does this have to do with leadership? Leaders are particularly at risk of becoming absorbed in permanent availability. Those who are not present themselves cannot create genuine space for others. Presence is therefore not a soft skill on the margins – it is a leadership competency.
